Standing up

"I'm not very good at standing up"

Talking about eating a frozen pinkie mouse sandwich

I don't like these visions but my brain haunts me.

Intranet...

I don't like the word intranet. It reminds me of sharp stones. Probably because it has the word net in it and that reminds me of beaches and beaches always have sharp stones on them.

PC built inside a fake/stuffed beaver

http://imgur.com/a/KhxA6
Ash's comment on the above picture:
"It's like pissing on the Taliban"

Fire alarm goes off

If we're really on fire, I'll have no qualms about smoking

Winter

My eyes feel cold

What do you give Father Christmas when he visits you Ash?

Nothing, he's dead